In a series of tweets, Donald Trump has announced that he ordered his little government friends, who also happen to be salaried employees of the American people, to stop negotiating a coronavirus stimulus package with Democrats until after the upcoming presidential election. If the election works out in his favor, then, according to the president’s own tweets, he may begin giving a shit about the welfare of his constituents:
“I have instructed my representatives to stop negotiating until after the election when, immediately after I win, we will pass a major Stimulus Bill that focuses on hardworking Americans and Small Business,” the President of the United States threatened tweeted.
So, just so we are clear, the president will begin doing his job after we hire him to do it for four more years, despite the fact that he is not doing it now. Let this sentence serve as notice to my editors that I also will cease blogging until I am given a raise. Ha ha.
Also, remember two days ago when people were saying it was mean to gloat about Donald Trump having covid? Is it still mean to say we should have told him to wait until November 4 to see if he is worth medical attention? [Twitter]
To those who are still undecided about whether to vote for a president who wants them to live and one who does not really care either way, former first lady Michelle Obama asks, “Won’t someone think of the children?” This is, admittedly, much nicer than any question I currently have for these undecided people.
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In a video titled “Closing Argument,” Obama testified to Trump’s general incompetence by addressing his specific incompetence at allowing schools to just do whatever the fuck they want right now. This easygoing attitude has left sick college students trapped on campus with very little recourse for accessing help, while everyone else is trapped what Obama calls an “endless cycle of uncertainty,” especially pronounced to those struggling with childcare and trying to make rent.
““It’s painful to think that months into this crisis, this is still where we are. With no clear plan,” Obama said, just four hours before Trump announced that there will be no further planning until November 4 at the earliest. [Twitter]
- Not to be outdone by former first lady Michelle Obama’s video about safeguarding the welfare of the American people by ousting a megalomaniacal, incompetent president, newly leaked audio from 2018 contains Meliana Trump’s pontifications on the appearance of Stormy Daniels (a person she labels a “porn hooker”) in Vogue. Spoiler: She wasn’t thrilled. [TMZ]
- Over at Fox News, a visibly unwell Rudy Guliani hacking coughed his way through a bit of mask mockery. [Daily Beast]
- The Supreme Court has reinstated a rule in South Carolina that requires a witness (preferably one who swears the ballot contains a vote for Lindsey Graham) in order for mail ballots to count. [Politico]
- Lawyers have finally been allowed to ask Eric Trump if he did any crime or has any relatives who did some. [New York Times]
- Bucking political tradition, Joe Biden has decided to mess with Texas. [Dallas Morning News]
- A Texas police officer has been arrested in connection with the murder of Jonathan Price. [Texas Tribune]